Total Drama: David vs Goliath
by mi-mi-mi-mio
Summary: 18 campers, some complete underdogs and some overdogs, come back for season 6 of Total Drama to compete for a 1 million dollar prize! This story has retconned a couple things, such as: Cody-Cam, Gwameron (or whatever the god it's called.) and Dakotazoid. Please enjoy the story!


It was a foggy afternoon on Pahkitew Island, a place completely controlled by futuristic tech that adapts its ecosystem to the controller's choice. Sadly, the controller was Canadian celebrity and reality TV show host- Chris McLean. He chuckled to himself, as he could see a helicopter coming near the island. Fresh meat.

The helicopter lowered near the docks of the island. Chris' good friend and assistant Chef Hatchet grabbed a scruffy Hindi boy by his collar and threw him into the ocean about 20 feet below. "Oh, great. I smell like a soggy bag of potato chips." Noah sighed. Chris made a face at him. "So, Noah! You haven't been here since Season 3, how does it feel to be back?" Chris asked.

"Oh, it's great! Besides the fact that I'm only here because you just _really_ like adding fine print on your contracts." he replied, annoyance ringing in his voice.  
"Good to know. Heh." Chris laughed, and motioned to Chef to get the next contestant out as Noah climbed onto the wooden dock. Chef grabbed a girl with purple hair by the waist and chucked her out of the helicopter. She screamed as she fell, trying to protect something that was in her hands. Chris laughed at her. "What'cha got there, Sierra?" he asked.

"No! Chef, you messed with the WRONG Total Drama fan!" she yelled at Chef, who was smiling smugly through the helicopter door. She sighed. "Well, I had just gotten a hold of Cody's deodorant, but when I fell it got all wet and slipped out of my hands...it took so long to get into his house, too! He put all the locks on the windows, but hey, a girl can hop fences! He forgot to lock his basement windows, hehe."

Noah looked at her. "You need to go to separation therapy, Sierra." Chris looked at her, his eyes widening. "Uh...anyway, our next contestant!" he said. Chef Hatchet kept trying to grab a small blur that kept dashing around the helicopter. A small croaking voice shouted, "You will not grab me, foul hero! I am going to jump out in true EVIL!" it shouted. A small boy wearing a white jacket with purple hair ran to the door of the helicopter, and Chef Hatchet shoved him out before he could jump.

"NO! THE FOUL BEAST HAS TOUCHED ME!" screamed Max, before smashing into the ocean. Chris chuckled to himself. "Nice landing!" he shouted at Max.

"I will not let simple evil like you outclass my TRUE EVIL! WAHAHAH-" Max started, but a large man dropped upon him, not even screaming as he flew. Max yelped, "Chris! Who is THIS scoundrel? He landed upon my head! HAVE HIM TAKEN TO THE LASER MACHINES!" The man who landed on him gave him an odd look before paddling himself to his orange cap that had fallen off, slipping it back on his head and giving Chris a thumbs up.

"B! Welcome back. Notice anything different?" he asked. B shook his head. "That's for the best! You know." B looked at Chris with concerned eyes. Chris just nodded. "O. M. G! B! Is this really you?! I _LOVED_ you on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island! It's so awesome to finally meet you! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"DO NOT IGNORE ME! PLEASE! I-I AM...rapidly sinking into this large amount of water." Max mumbled, gripping onto a wooden pole holding up the dock.

"Chef, can you get someone who will help him? I'm-" he drew out a long yawn and stretched his arms. "too tired." Chef rolled his eyes and grabbed a small woman wearing a pink dress and pink shoes with a bow in her hair. He threw her into the water.

"I know you didn't mean to drop me, Mr. Chef! It's okay." Ella forgave him as she fell. She swam over to the dock, and said hello to Chris in her own special way. " He-ll-ooooooooooo! " she sang.

"Stop. It." Chris plugged his ears. "You know that got you eliminated last time, right?" he asked her.

"Yes, but-"

"No. Singing." Chris interrupted.

"I will try my hardest…" she replied. Max was flapping his arms after he slipped from the pole, and was now screaming. "SOMEBODY LIFT ME UP! YOU FOUL CREATURES! YOU CRETINS! YOU IDIOTS! HELP ME OUT!"

Chris burst out in fits of laughter, and Chef started giggling. "So, you're just gonna let Mr. Hero over here die?" Noah asked.

"I-jeez, we'll send someone else down there. Great job, _Ella._" Chris replied.

"I'm sorry, Chris, I wanted to greet you so bad I didn't realize that Max was in the water at all! I'm sorry." she looked down at her feet.

Chef walked to the back of the helicopter and suddenly screamed as he flew out of the door. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" he yelled as he collided with the waves and made an extremely loud splash. Izzy peeked her head from the door, then cannonballed into the ocean.

"Hey, Izzy, can you do me some, uh...labo-a favor?" Chris asked her.  
"What is it? Oh- gimme a sec! My brain is itchy." She proceeded to stick her whole finger in her ear and begin wiggling it. Noah just stared at her and almost vomited. Sierra took a video for her blog. Max flapped his arms. B made a face. Ella had no idea what was happening. Izzy removed her finger from her ear and washed it off in the water. Noah gagged.

"Hmmm...it sounds like Sierra is saying 'EEEEEEEEEEEEE' really quietly in my ear now! It hurts! What were you saying, Chris?" she said innocently.

Chris threw up in the sand. "I…" he threw up again. "can you just bring Max up here please?" Chef climbed up the now extended ladder on the helicopter to resume his job of throwing everyone out of it. Izzy just shrugged and dog-paddled over to Max and grabbed him with her teeth. Max was too tired to yell anymore.

"T-thank you! Now I can show everyone...the definition of...true…" he coughed up a small guppy. "E-EVI-" he began to have a coughing fit. "Evil." he said sadly. Chris signaled to Chef to drop down the next camper. He kicked a short girl with glasses and incredibly straight teeth out of the plane, where she landed face first on the water.

"Wow! That was incredulous, Chris! Can I go again?" she asked.

"No, Beth. Also, this time, don't kiss people. At all. It ticks me off. And Sierra over there too." Chris replied with annoyance ringing in his tone.

"I know, right? I'm happy my Codykins wasn't participating in Action, or else she probably would have kissed _him!_" Sierra scowled.

"Well, I'm in it to win it this ti-" she started.

"YOU ALREADY WON!" Chris yelled. "GO! JUST...AAAAAGH!" Beth was scared, so she just sat down in the sand and waited until he wasn't mad. "Chef, bring down our next camper, please." Chris said.

Chef kicked Scott out of the plane, however, he used a bit too much force, which sent Scott plummeting into the sand. Right where Beth was sitting. Their heads knocked together and their lips met, before Scott flipped over her and dug his face into the sand.

"Did. Did you just kiss somebody again?" Chris asked Beth. She looked around.

"Well...it was an accident, I promise!" she said. Chris looked suspiciously at her, but let it go. Scott lifted himself from the sand and was nauseous. "W-who kizzed meee? I wahhnt to knoow who kizzed me-" BANG! Scott fell and hit his head on the dock like a doofus. He was out cold.

"That's AMAZING! This is why I _do_ these shows!" Chris laughed. "Bring em' down, Chef!" he yelled. Chef nodded, and proceeded to kick out a boy wearing suspenders with a small grease stain on his shirt. As he fell, he made a loud slide whistle noise.

"Hey, Beardo. How's it feel being back here again?" Chris asked.

"O-oh, well it's pretty nice I guess." he answered shyly.

"OMG! You talked! I mean, you did when you were shot out of the cannon, but you talked and I was _here!_" Sierra squealed.

"W-well...uh…" Beardo decided not to finish his sentence, and he twiddled with his thumbs while he waited for everything to just fizzle out.

"Alright, Chef! Bring our next one down!" Chris yelled. Chef gave a nod and kicked out a large redhead man with blue overalls and a white shirt. Rodney's head landed on the dock, and he went down with a gurgling sound.

"Whooa...that was pretty rough. Ouch." Rodney exclaimed, lifting himself onto the dock before- his eyes tunneled to a girl sitting in the sand. Her teeth were whiter than the moon, straighter than the Empire State Building, hair smoother than whipped cream on a cupcake. He seemed to have hearts in his vision, encircling everything. He stumbled over to Beth.

"Well, you and I...moonlight...New York...romantic dinner...cupcake dessert, rainbow...sunflower…" he stuttered.

"Rodney, a-are you okay? I know CPR! Are you having a stroke?" she asked him. She looked at him, and stumbled away like a drunken bear. "It's okay, Rodney! Sometimes my brain turns off too! Then it goes upside down and my eyes roll all the way into my head and I can just watch Brainston do his roulette dance!" Izzy laughed.

"I- you need to see a doctor. Specifically an asylum employee." Noah remarked. He made a face. Chris mimicked his face and just silently signaled to Chef. He nodded and kicked out a girl with short hair and cropped green jeans.

"I SWEAR, CHRIS! IF I LAND ON THE DOCK AND DIE, YOU _**WILL**_ HEAR FROM MY LA- AGH!" She fell right into the water. If you listened closely, you can actually hear her continuing to scream at Chris through the water. When she resurfaced, it suffices to say she was quite ang- "What is _wrong_ with you?!" Courtney screeched.

"Nothing. I'm pretty perfect, if I do say so myself." Chris replied. Courtney growled and growled even more when she noticed Scott sitting on the dock unconscious. "I like this woman! She seems to know the definition of TRUE evi- OOF!" Courtney kneed him in the kiwis. "She really IS true evil…" Max croaked.

"I think you can bring someone else down now that Max is done being a hero." Chris remarked.

"I AM NOT. A. HERO!" Max shouted. Chris just shook his head while B patted the small boy on his shoulder. Chef shoved a pale blonde girl out of the plane with a green sweater and purple leggings. Dawn was suddenly sitting on the dock, criss cross. "AMAZING! She must be _TRUE_ evil! I must recruit her to become my new sideki-" Max hacked up a small seahorse. "Ki-kick."

"Hello, Chris. I want to win this time so I can help all of the animal friends that you hurt on Camp Wawanakwa, and perhaps save that Ezekiel boy…" Dawn said calmly. She gave the unconscious Scott a _very_ dirty look and proceeded to stroke a bluejay's head with her index finger before one of its eyes fell out and landed on the dock with a metallic _dink!_

"Well, Dawn, I have no way to tell you that you may or may not win, but maybe you'll be happy to know that a friend from your season is coming to play as well. Say hello to…" Chris started. Chef shoved an extremely short boy out of the plane. He was very skinny, and he fell in the water before having to dog paddle to a pole where Ella pulled him up. "Don't worry, little one, I will protect you!" she smiled warmly at him.

"T-thanks…" Cameron said to her, before sitting on the dock.

_**Confessional - Cameron**_

"This is my first time playing without Mike or Zoey. It's pretty scary, but I hope that people like me! Then I can get past the merge again! I just hope there isn't too many physical challenges." Cameron stood up and stretched his arms, before being too overwhelmed by the weight of the roll of toilet paper that fell from the wall. He landed straight in the toilet, his legs slipped in, and Cameron was sewa- _RETCH!_

"I'm covered in- is this deodorant?"

_**Static**_

"Oh! Hey little guy! Have you ever seen a head spin a full 360 degrees before? Watch this!" Izzy yelled. Cameron and about 90% of every single human being on Pahkitew island looked away as she spun her head in a full loop with a sickening sound, but fell and landed on Sierra.

"NOOOO! IZZY!" Sierra screamed.

"What? Did I break your phone?" Izzy asked.

"You did...you did something much worse, Izzy! You made me DROP Cody's toenails!" she replied, beginning to silently sob. "I miss my Codybear…"

"So you not only stole his deodorant, but you clipped off his toenails? Oh boy." Noah snarked. Sierra just curled up in a ball and started looking for Cody's toenails. Chris silently kicked them off the docks into the ocean and asked Chef to bring down the next camper. He gave Chris a nod and kicked out a tan girl that looked like she should've been on Jersey Shore instead of on Pahkitew Island.

"Ugh! Now I gotta look at good ol' farm boy Ed Sheeran and Pasteface all over again!" Anne Maria said with a heavy accent. She reached into her hair and pulled out a bottle of hairspray. She began using up the entire thing and ignoring the rest of the world with her nail file.

"Whuut waz thaat?" Scott said, his mouth half closed before he got up and stumbled into a sand pit Sierra dug for herself to cry in. "Get your own pit!" she sniffed. She pushed him over onto a sharp bed of seashells and he was out once again.

Chris just looked at him to make sure there was no legal issues with leaving him there, then continued to signal to Chef to bring the next camper down. He kicked out a boy with a green mohawk and legs that were surprisingly short. He landed with no splash.

"Hey, Chris! Glad they let me out of jail, I was going pretty mad in there." Duncan said.

"Don't 'Hey, Chris!' me! _YOU BLEW UP MY COTTAGE!_" Chris yelled sadly.

"It was not- AAAGGGHHH!" Courtney roared. She looked at Duncan, and then something clicked in her mind. She had an idea.

_**Confessional - Courtney**_

"Okay! I have an amazing idea that will totally get that bad boy jerk out of this dumb island. All I have to do is make him _think_ I like him again! He'll totally fall for it. I've got this in the bag!"

_**Static**_

Duncan climbed up onto the dock and suggestively looked at Courtney. She, putting her new plan to action, blushed and wiggled her fingers at him. He made a face. A good face. She giggled to herself. _Her plan was really working!_ "Alright, Chef. Just bring the last 3 down already. I wanna see them squirm like fish! Heheheh." Chris yelled. Chef nodded and kicked out 3 contestants from the plane.

A gorgeous blonde girl with a magenta shirt and hot pink jeans, Dakota, fell into the water as gracefully as possible to make sure her lipstick didn't wash off. A lovable sweetheart, but still a muscular beefy boy, Devon "DJ" Joseph fell into the water with a scream. And finally, an extremely fit and...not hot woman named Jo fell into the water. Expressionless.

"Come on! My lipstick is all gone and I used the last bit of it on the helicopter!" Dakota squealed.

"That was really scary. I miss my mama already…" DJ whimpered.

"Ugh. Back on a crummy island with Chris McLame. And I _already_ see some familiar faces. Helmet Head, Farmy McWheat, Bubble Baby, and that's just a few." Jo remarked. She was the first to reach the water, while Dakota just dog paddled to the ocean. DJ was too scared to swim, but that didn't matter, because B pulled him up.

"Thanks, man." DJ told B. B gave him a silent thumbs up. As Chris looked upon his 18 least favorite people, he got ready to tell them what was in store.

"Well, campers, in just a moment, you'll be split into teams and shown to your housing. Which you _don't_ have to make this year. But for all of you people watching at home, that will have to happen next time on Total! Drama! David! vs. Goliath!"


End file.
